My Husband is Trying to Kill me

Are you high?

Biking is his Weapon of Choice It was a bright, sunshiny day. My husband and I planned to enjoy our time together sans daughters because they were spending a few days at their grandparents. It was a perfect day. The birds were singing while perched atop their favorite branch, as gentle breezes swayed them back and forth. The puffy clouds danced above forming various animal designs. That’s what I dreamed while gazing out my kitchen window. Then I noticed the temperature gauge and 99 degrees barked in my face. Mother Nature wasn’t messing around. I’m not sure how I got hoodwinked into taking a bicycle ride at high noon. I didn’t owe my husband anything. My mental capacity wasn’t diminished. But somehow I was persuaded it was a grand idea. Obviously, my husband is trying to kill ... [ Read More ]

Summer Mind is a Terrible Thing to Lose

summermind2

As I open the newspaper each morning, I read about someone who has performed some horrendous crime. Why is it that further into the summer months the offenses become more frequent and irrational? I’ll tell you why. It’s because everyone is losing their blooming “summer mind.” Never heard of summer mind? I know you’ve felt it in suburbia – especially if you have children. The beginning of summer is brimming with possibilities of sleeping in late, splashing in the pool and relaxing vacations. All the while you never have to harp on your kids about homework or shuttle around vans bursting with cleated-children to their 50 million soccer games. This is your bliss time. But then by the middle of summer, something happens. Many vacations are over and by the end of the trip; ... [ Read More ]

Lost Stuffed Monkey Discovery Prompts Social-media Search for Owner

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Grady Reid of Olathe was driving through the busy intersection of 121st and Blue Valley Parkway on July 4 when he noticed something odd in the opposite lane. He turned his car around, and as if the tides had parted, there were no cars behind him. He managed to stop, pick up a stuffed monkey and bring it home — beginning his quest to find the toy’s owner. “He was in rough shape,” said the father of one and television cameraman for a local station. “This belongs to someone, but I didn’t have any grand ideas about how to broadcast it.” To the rescue: Social media. “First thing I did was take a picture and put it on my Facebook page. Then I called work, and asked our web producer if they could put it out there. That same day they it was on their station’s Twitter feed,” Reid ... [ Read More ]

Crazy Family, Bats in the Belfry, and an Endless Supply of Wine

Senior couple sitting outdoors

When I was in grade school we lived across the street from a beautiful home, surrounded by a dense wooded area. The owner was an elderly widow; and since her children had grown and flown, she pretty much stayed to herself. However, once a year she would call my father and ask for help with her home. Just a little task called bat removal. It didn’t matter my father wasn’t in the extermination field. He was the business manager for a small film company, which I’m sure even back then didn’t qualify him to mess with possibly rabid creatures. He would have been better suited for processing paychecks for the flying creatures, but that wasn’t her request. “Lovie.” (This was the name she called everyone just in case his or her name slipped her memory.) “Lovie, I have a little bat ... [ Read More ]

Summer Love had me a blast

SandCastleLove

  His name was Kevin. Or was it Randy? No, that’s how he made me feel that first summer of vacationing in Colorado with my folks. Summer love, had me a blast... Money always appeared scarce, so we didn’t take fancy vacations like the ones you hear of today. When I was in junior high — because that’s what middle school was called in the days before “screen time” — my family, jam-packed liked sardines in the station wagon brimming with food coolers, groceries, suitcases and tackle boxes, headed west toward hills much grander than we could imagine. My family rented a cabin in Green Mountain Falls, Colo.. It had four walls, indoor plumbing, running water, board games, intricate 1,000-piece puzzles and frisky black squirrels running outside. It was a charmed life. For the ... [ Read More ]

TV is the Worst Drug

TVcrack

I hate to be the one to come out and admit it, but my children have a bad crack problem. Every night around 4:00 PM, they curl up on all fours in the middle of the living room, resting their chin in their v-cupped-shaped-hand-rest - and with bootie up in the air and full crack showing, they watch their favorite TV shows ‘til Big Mama gets grub on the table. At our house TV is the worst drug. Damn you, Disney Junior. We can't give you up! Yes, I know there are other ways to get my flailing preschoolers entertained. We have tried many methods. Here are a smattering of our attempts, flops and failures. 1) Help mommy make dinner (you can only imagine the extended cleanup time.) 2) “Go see who can clean their room the fastest and then you will win a cool prize.” 3) Go find your own ... [ Read More ]